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Old 01-17-2010, 01:47 AM   #1
Grain
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Default Horus stories

After reading these. I decided to write my own, I hope you don't mind. There could be more, but I can put no due date on them.


A tremor split through in waves as the ground cracked open, gas and dust spewing forth like the breath of a god rising from slumber. A dark look stretches across a face observing the tragedy as stone and flesh became one and all were lost to the maelstrom made of earth and bones. Such a destructive force and such a beautiful use, how could anyone pass up the opportunity to destroy something that was once revered? The great church that once stood at the center of a once great city known as Montsognir, now swirled into oblivion with the rest of its buildings.
“In their place I shall put them all,
cast down hand in hand
Destroyed and tattered it shall be
Wasted away with its land ”
The twisted form of a dark elf stood atop the withering heights, Plunder had seen to the destruction of the Alsirian capital with ease after Efrendi and his barbarians had broken the great wall. No doubt Alsius would attempt a counter attack soon and a change of location was necessary. The Ignean hunters constantly reporting troop movements and the locations of key targets had now begun the assassinations. Many of the high ranking Alsirians would be found drained of blood and stripped of flesh, a warning to the nation to terrify and shock the enemy.
As many of the population were trying to flee the realm they found what once kept them safe now served as their demise. The great walls gate was destroyed and now lay in splinters around the wall, a line of marksmen guarded by impenetrable wall of knights now acted as a firing squad to any trying to escape the onslaught happening within. Dimera knocked another arrow and sent it through the heart of some poor Alsian soul as so many crashed against the shields of Lexen, Wes and many other knights.
Efrendi, Smurv and Kalida had been moving about as a satellite force to the main. As Smurv pulled his blood red spear from the back of yet another Uthgar, the three turned as the ground started shaking. Fire embers and ash began falling from the sky as Rhanya and La had started calling meteors down on their unaware targets. Smurv spun around locking his shield above him providing a deflecting barrier for Efrendi and Kalida. Seeing the two warlocks Efrendi had started to go into a fenzy as the meteors hit. The loud roar of the barbarians shook the mages as the barbarians charged “Leave nothing of them left!” Dirt and leaves twisted through the air spiralling around the warriors locking them in place. Kalida issued forth a mighty howl dizzying all around. Suddenly the ground shifted as overbearing skulls appeared above the party pressing them all to the ground. Ulrin had shown his slimy self yet again and after the three were able to stand again the mages had vanished. “Quickly, we must regroup with the others, do not chase these dogs” Efrendi commanded as they started back towards the gate.
The destruction of Alsius had begun to cease as Ignis began pulling out of the now battered realm. Their work here was done for now, not wanting to completely destroy the Alsirian Empire, but to let them know where they stood after the three month war against Ignis taken to their great wall. A message as it were to let them know their beloved army could no longer be organized and no more would they threaten the Ignean way of life.

Miraculix and Rulez had arrived home informing Anpu and the rest of The Inquisition of the attack on Alsius. As word spread throughout Syrtis the factions began forming an army capable of not only defending the realm, but also decimating any that stood against it. Soon Ignis and Alsius alike will feel the wrath of the entire Syrtian nation.

Last edited by DkySven; 01-21-2010 at 03:19 PM.
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Old 01-17-2010, 10:48 PM   #2
Dark_Barbarian
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Default the tale of Dark Barbarian

in a land with choas and little order, Dark Barbarian son of Gregory Shadowblade seeks to help restore Balence to the realm of ignis.

Dark Barbarian at the age of 12 started training with a sword (a dagger). he begain thinking and wondering of the possibilty of what he can become useing 2 handed weapons strikeing his oppents with fear and rage or become a knight use a weapon and shield to deffened the people of ignis. once he has reach the age of 18 the real training has begon. the trainer of the city of Altaruk gave him a choice do you wish to use a 2 handed sword or a spear and a shield, Dark Barbarian was thinking for a moment then he lifted up the 2 handed long sword he practice for 24/7 with exercises and studing in the libary of what the Barbarian past was like. as he reach the age of 24 he was given a real weapon a sword like no other, a great claymore hes going to wield at his own disposl. he started slashing every single monster that stand in his way with rage and soo very little fear, every time hes done it the growth for more blood lust and battleing is getting huge at the 2nd day he past out with tiredness, he would of died but a conj walking in the area found him on the ground he carried him back to his house, 2 days has passed and he woke up in a strange room only by looking up at the conjurer that was makeing some kind of soup conjurer ask " well well you woke up at last" with a smile on his face, Dark Barbarian ask "who are you" the conjurer replied "im am who you could say Dark Conjure" Dark Conjure gave Dark Barbarian some soup and he ate it with joy. 10 years have passed and Dark Barbarian grew stonger and stonger with every passing month and now he has been giveing a task from the king. the king ask if you could kill Daen Rha and bring me his heart ill give you plenty of riches as a reward. so Dark Barbarian set out to Daen Rhas domains where he was waiting for him all along, Daen rha charged but Dark Barbarian evaded all tho yet again he charged, this time Dark Barbarian was hit and Daen rha laughed, at the last min Dark Barbarian filled up with soo much rage its almost he has the stregth of 10 men, this time Dark Barbarian charge it felt like a heard of rinos where going mad daen rha tried to move but he was too afraid to do so, closer and closer Dark Barbarian came, he jumped up and slashed Daen Rha in half. Dark Barbarian tore Daen Rhas heart out with his bare hands and when he was done a chest appeard in front of him it was filled with powerful weapons he has never seen before, he took it all and walked back home and gave the heart to the king Dark Barbarian was soo rich and the king ask "do you wish to be my General?"
Dark Barbarian replied with and yes and he was a General. To be Continud


Next will be the great battle.
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Old 01-17-2010, 10:55 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark_Barbarian View Post
in a land with choas and little order, Dark Barbarian son of Gregory Shadowblade seeks to help restore Balence to the realm of ignis.

Dark Barbarian at the age of 12 started training with a sword (a dagger). he begain thinking and wondering of the possibilty of what he can become useing 2 handed weapons strikeing his oppents with fear and rage or become a knight use a weapon and shield to deffened the people of ignis. once he has reach the age of 18 the real training has begon. the trainer of the city of Altaruk gave him a choice do you wish to use a 2 handed sword or a spear and a shield, Dark Barbarian was thinking for a moment then he lifted up the 2 handed long sword he practice for 24/7 with exercises and studing in the libary of what the Barbarian past was like. as he reach the age of 24 he was given a real weapon a sword like no other, a great claymore hes going to wield at his own disposl. he started slashing every single monster that stand in his way with rage and soo very little fear, every time hes done it the growth for more blood lust and battleing is getting huge at the 2nd day he past out with tiredness, he would of died but a conj walking in the area found him on the ground he carried him back to his house, 2 days has passed and he woke up in a strange room only by looking up at the conjurer that was makeing some kind of soup conjurer ask " well well you woke up at last" with a smile on his face, Dark Barbarian ask "who are you" the conjurer replied "im am who you could say Dark Conjure" Dark Conjure gave Dark Barbarian some soup and he ate it with joy. 10 years have passed and Dark Barbarian grew stonger and stonger with every passing month and now he has been giveing a task from the king. the king ask if you could kill Daen Rha and bring me his heart ill give you plenty of riches as a reward. so Dark Barbarian set out to Daen Rhas domains where he was waiting for him all along, Daen rha charged but Dark Barbarian evaded all tho yet again he charged, this time Dark Barbarian was hit and Daen rha laughed, at the last min Dark Barbarian filled up with soo much rage its almost he has the stregth of 10 men, this time Dark Barbarian charge it felt like a heard of rinos where going mad daen rha tried to move but he was too afraid to do so, closer and closer Dark Barbarian came, he jumped up and slashed Daen Rha in half. Dark Barbarian tore Daen Rhas heart out with his bare hands and when he was done a chest appeard in front of him it was filled with powerful weapons he has never seen before, he took it all and walked back home and gave the heart to the king Dark Barbarian was soo rich and the king ask "do you wish to be my General?"
Dark Barbarian replied with and yes and he was a General. To be Continud


Next will be the great battle.
Epic dude.
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Old 01-17-2010, 11:10 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Dark_Barbarian View Post
......
Is this some kind of biography?...
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Old 01-17-2010, 11:38 PM   #5
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Is this some kind of biography?...
It's a horus story
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Old 01-17-2010, 11:48 PM   #6
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cool story bro
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Old 01-18-2010, 01:36 AM   #7
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Nice one DB ! best part is you get healed by yourself. I guess all the chars in your story will just be you?
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Old 01-18-2010, 05:47 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark_Barbarian View Post
in a land with choas and little order, Dark Barbarian son of Gregory Shadowblade seeks to help restore Balence to the realm of ignis.

Dark Barbarian at the age of 12 started training with a sword (a dagger). he begain thinking and wondering of the possibilty of what he can become useing 2 handed weapons strikeing his oppents with fear and rage or become a knight use a weapon and shield to deffened the people of ignis. once he has reach the age of 18 the real training has begon. the trainer of the city of Altaruk gave him a choice do you wish to use a 2 handed sword or a spear and a shield, Dark Barbarian was thinking for a moment then he lifted up the 2 handed long sword he practice for 24/7 with exercises and studing in the libary of what the Barbarian past was like. as he reach the age of 24 he was given a real weapon a sword like no other, a great claymore hes going to wield at his own disposl. he started slashing every single monster that stand in his way with rage and soo very little fear, every time hes done it the growth for more blood lust and battleing is getting huge at the 2nd day he past out with tiredness, he would of died but a conj walking in the area found him on the ground he carried him back to his house, 2 days has passed and he woke up in a strange room only by looking up at the conjurer that was makeing some kind of soup conjurer ask " well well you woke up at last" with a smile on his face, Dark Barbarian ask "who are you" the conjurer replied "im am who you could say Dark Conjure" Dark Conjure gave Dark Barbarian some soup and he ate it with joy. 10 years have passed and Dark Barbarian grew stonger and stonger with every passing month and now he has been giveing a task from the king. the king ask if you could kill Daen Rha and bring me his heart ill give you plenty of riches as a reward. so Dark Barbarian set out to Daen Rhas domains where he was waiting for him all along, Daen rha charged but Dark Barbarian evaded all tho yet again he charged, this time Dark Barbarian was hit and Daen rha laughed, at the last min Dark Barbarian filled up with soo much rage its almost he has the stregth of 10 men, this time Dark Barbarian charge it felt like a heard of rinos where going mad daen rha tried to move but he was too afraid to do so, closer and closer Dark Barbarian came, he jumped up and slashed Daen Rha in half. Dark Barbarian tore Daen Rhas heart out with his bare hands and when he was done a chest appeard in front of him it was filled with powerful weapons he has never seen before, he took it all and walked back home and gave the heart to the king Dark Barbarian was soo rich and the king ask "do you wish to be my General?"
Dark Barbarian replied with and yes and he was a General. To be Continud


Next will be the great battle.

seriously DB nice story an all it just needs some montage music and that would be as good as a kevin costner film no wait maybe even highlander three.

Jokes aside you do need to look at spelling DB, but thats an aweful lot of obvious errors. If you are serious about writing stories then why not get a friend to proof read and correct them for you?

Last edited by DkySven; 02-04-2010 at 03:49 PM. Reason: Removing remarks offensive to another other user
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Old 01-18-2010, 12:22 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark_Barbarian View Post
in a land with choas and little order, Dark Barbarian son of Gregory Shadowblade seeks to help restore Balence to the realm of ignis.

Dark Barbarian at the age of 12 started training with a sword (a dagger). he begain thinking and wondering of the possibilty of what he can become useing 2 handed weapons strikeing his oppents with fear and rage or become a knight use a weapon and shield to deffened the people of ignis. once he has reach the age of 18 the real training has begon. the trainer of the city of Altaruk gave him a choice do you wish to use a 2 handed sword or a spear and a shield, Dark Barbarian was thinking for a moment then he lifted up the 2 handed long sword he practice for 24/7 with exercises and studing in the libary of what the Barbarian past was like. as he reach the age of 24 he was given a real weapon a sword like no other, a great claymore hes going to wield at his own disposl. he started slashing every single monster that stand in his way with rage and soo very little fear, every time hes done it the growth for more blood lust and battleing is getting huge at the 2nd day he past out with tiredness, he would of died but a conj walking in the area found him on the ground he carried him back to his house, 2 days has passed and he woke up in a strange room only by looking up at the conjurer that was makeing some kind of soup conjurer ask " well well you woke up at last" with a smile on his face, Dark Barbarian ask "who are you" the conjurer replied "im am who you could say Dark Conjure" Dark Conjure gave Dark Barbarian some soup and he ate it with joy. 10 years have passed and Dark Barbarian grew stonger and stonger with every passing month and now he has been giveing a task from the king. the king ask if you could kill Daen Rha and bring me his heart ill give you plenty of riches as a reward. so Dark Barbarian set out to Daen Rhas domains where he was waiting for him all along, Daen rha charged but Dark Barbarian evaded all tho yet again he charged, this time Dark Barbarian was hit and Daen rha laughed, at the last min Dark Barbarian filled up with soo much rage its almost he has the stregth of 10 men, this time Dark Barbarian charge it felt like a heard of rinos where going mad daen rha tried to move but he was too afraid to do so, closer and closer Dark Barbarian came, he jumped up and slashed Daen Rha in half. Dark Barbarian tore Daen Rhas heart out with his bare hands and when he was done a chest appeard in front of him it was filled with powerful weapons he has never seen before, he took it all and walked back home and gave the heart to the king Dark Barbarian was soo rich and the king ask "do you wish to be my General?"
Dark Barbarian replied with and yes and he was a General. To be Continud


Next will be the great battle.
Nice one DB! Keep up the good work
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Old 01-18-2010, 05:00 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Gawyn_Trakkand View Post
Jokes aside you do need to look at spelling DB, i know i'm getting ridden a bit by vythica to watch my grammer and spelling but thats an aweful lot of obvious errors. If you are serious about writing stories then why not get a friend to proof read and correct them for you?
Grammar*
awful*
And you should use Capital I's dear :[[

haha. Jokes aside
Good story DB Cant wait for the next
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