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Old 04-15-2010, 01:43 AM   #11
GythaOgg
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Combat log is a new format to me, it's really interesting way to tell a story. The brevity leaves so much room for the imagination.

Those big multi-hour battles at Agg get summed up into a half-dozen words:

Quote:
0207 I.I. reports heavy fighting at A2.
and the lack of emotion in

Quote:
Call in for additional support; request denied.
I'm guessing those conversations don't sound like:
Code:
"I don't suppose we could perhaps have a few more people here?"
  "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm afraid not at the moment."
"Ah, well, thanks anway, have a nice day!"
  "You, too, bye now!"
I'd like to read more.

Also, Benedict? Watch your back. I'm just sayin'.
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Old 04-15-2010, 08:03 AM   #12
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Fantastic.
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Old 04-15-2010, 01:14 PM   #13
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Good . +1 from me.

"you must spread reputation around....."
Art
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Old 04-15-2010, 10:01 PM   #14
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That was epic. I really like that style of writing.
+1 from me...
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Old 04-15-2010, 10:07 PM   #15
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very nice any more coming up soon?
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Old 04-16-2010, 06:09 AM   #16
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/claps

Lovely =D
The way it is written as if it was more a modern war story.
Cannot wait for more.
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Old 04-16-2010, 08:44 PM   #17
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very nice i love it
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:56 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhateverUSMC View Post
TFNS calls in for permission to engage; request granted.
I thought it's a pertinent comment: Juegos de Guerra

(No personal attack to any user, country or to the author of this thread, just a relevant remark, IMHO)
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Old 04-17-2010, 12:00 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marchalain View Post
I thought it's a pertinent comment: Juegos de Guerra

(No personal attack to any user, country or to the author of this thread, just a relevant remark, IMHO)
Yeah, I've seen this video before, it's pretty terrible.

It's not relevant in the slightest to this story, but thanks for posting. Something that maybe you weren't aware of, though;



...Huh. An American military member. In Canada. During war time. Hmmmmm....
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Old 04-17-2010, 12:53 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhateverUSMC View Post
Yeah, I've seen this video before, it's pretty terrible.

It's not relevant in the slightest to this story, but thanks for posting. Something that maybe you weren't aware of, though;

http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/993/48977881.png

...Huh. An American military member. In Canada. During war time. Hmmmmm....
Relevant to me, sorry.

You posted an story to be read on forum and you wrote this:

"Also, this is an opportunity to see if this story structure is going to fly. If it works, I'll continue posting additions here. Thanks for reading!"

Ok, as user in this forum I read your thread and that's what jumped into my mind. That's all.


How we say things creates the structure of what we have on mind and how we think and act. Out of language, there's no way to structure ideas. So how we say things makes our mind and listeners' minds. Even to oppose, discuss, modify what you're saying; let's say how we choose our words in the origin of a dialogue marks a bit the discussion. Linguistics.

Terms like "collateral victims", "engage", "request granted" are euphemisms. They just target to avoid the truth, they mask their intentions. It's kinda manipulating there. "Innocent civilian killed", "Attack with intention to kill" and "Fire to kill" would be closer to truth. It's possible that someone could argue telling me I do the same (manipulate). I don't agree, if I would like to do that I would write: "one less of those morons in the world", "partytime! let's kill those retarded" and "Kill'em all!".

What I'm trying to tell is that the vehicle to tell an story (words) must be fair with what we are trying to relate. Otherwise we play a dangerous game. Military terms fall most of the time in an obvious propaganda that tries to begin to structure our opinion and thoughts.

You wanted to know if it "flies", I gave you my opinion.


About the Ontario remark...
I don't get you. I don't know what you thought when you read it, but I'm not trying to make a war against any country or any population! I just wanted to make think about something. Not trying to hurt anybody's feelings, patriotical ones or not. (Neither yours, even if you live in Canada! Joke, of course). To write this post is not relevant to me if you live in Ontario, Jersey, the Mid-west states, or Timbuktu.

Peace!
(Just out of the game)

(Leaving the thread to author once I explained my post)
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